I Hate Underwear

I feel like I need to define “underwear” before we can proceed.

To me, underwear is what you wear under your clothes, and what you can’t wear out to the mailbox without your neighbors thinking that you’re being incredibly indecent. Regular neighbors…not like, super conservative neighbors.

Okay, so that’s underwear.

And I hate wearing it.

It feels weird on me, looks weird, and seems unnecessary. Except it does keep me from zipping up my pubic hair or flashing someone with my lady bits on accident (on the rare occasions when I wear a dress). So there’s that.

I’m also very bad at remembering said underwear.

I run around the trails near my work on the weekends, and then shower at the gym a block away. It’s a nice gym and has a nice locker room. There’s a steam room and a sauna, and the showers are bigger, have better water pressure, and are hotter than my shower at home. The locker rooms also feature full length mirrors and vanity lights. Sweet.

However! I am constantly forgetting my underwear.

I forget my bra more than anything (sorry about that, B *snrk*), but I’ve forgotten panties before too. It’s just not on my…underwear-dar.

In order to remember my underwear, I have tried to make wearing underwear the most pleasant experience possible. Here’s what I’ve come up with, but feel free to leave your suggestions.

  • Fuck bras. There’s no way to make that experience pleasant. Underwire’s bite into your flesh, and sports bras are hard to peel on and off. My solution? Wear a built in bra whenever possible. Sure, it doesn’t make your boobs look fantastic, but it’s hard to forget a bra that’s a part of your shirt.
  • Okay, now for the panties. Fuck them too. Instead, wear men’s underwear. Ladies, I’m telling you, you have no idea what you’re missing. Not only are they comfy – and they are – but they provide a nicer shaping of your tummy and upper thighs. Seriously. My brand of choice?

Adidas Athletic Stretch Trunks

They fit under skinny jeans and a dress, they don’t have a fly, and they don’t have a padded crotch. I mean, my mons likes padding as much as the next girl’s, but it really isn’t necessary.

Problems solved.

And the best part? Both the cami and the boxer briefs can be worn out to get your mail.

You’re welcome.

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