“If one dick is manly, then two dicks are manlier. Therefore, having two dudes together is super manly. It’s simple math.” – Beth Brock
Every time I have been asked why I read and write MM, it has been by a gay man.
The question itself seemed valid, but when I looked at who was doing the asking, it became perplexing. Normally I wouldn’t have paid this any mind, but this has happened enough that I’ve devoted some thought to this conundrum.
Why do I read and write MM?
I’m a bit of an odd ball, and I recognize that not everyone may share my motivations, so not everyone’s reasons for reading MM will be the same as mine. Also, the majority of MM readers are 40+ straight women…and I’m not that.
I just like reading books – all kinds. And I like reading about sex – all kinds.
Sex is a part of life, and to have books with no sex (or eating or using the toilet) seems kinda weird to me. My main focus in reading is the story-telling and the characters, and my favorite part of all stories is the dialog, so I like romances because they are more character driven than other genre fiction. I’ve tried reading other Romances besides MM. I don’t like MF because the relationships seem like a trope to me, and gender roles kinda make me ill. I’ve read some FF, but I wasn’t feeling it. (If anyone can recommend some good FF, I’d appreciate it.)
In MM the gender roles aren’t necessarily set (I know I’m oversimplify things), and the types of romances vary wildly between every story.
Hell, there’s even mpreg. I may have a kink… Don’t worry, I haven’t put any of those mpreg stories on my website. (If anyone has any recommendations for mpreg, I would like them please.)
Also, the MM genre is getting bigger, with more authors and stories. It’s a happening place to be right now.
So what’s hard to understand about that?
I truly don’t mind being asked questions about why I read MM. That being said, this subject has sometimes gone beyond innocent questioning, and has become a little confrontational.
I’ve had a gay man hint that I couldn’t possibly understand his story because I wasn’t a gay man, and I’ve had several flat out state that I shouldn’t write about sex that I could never have. Some have been more sly, suggesting that I should try to understand men’s bodies before I write about them (duh?), and some have disagreed with my interpretation of various manly functions.
Basically they were all saying that I couldn’t understand what it was like to be a man, because I’m a woman.
Men write books with female protagonists, and women write books with male protagonists all the time. So, why can’t women write MM?
They can. It’s awesome.
I’ve also read a ton of MM written by gay men.
I’ve read about twinks, bears, BDSM, non-explicit sappy Romances, hard-core porn, Fantasy/SciFi, menage, two monogamous men with a family, vanilla, blow jobs, masturbation…
None of these stories written by gay men stood out from stories written by women in any particular way, and let’s assume I’m a pretty good judge of MM and move on…
I’m a scientist at my core, so I used examples of various great MM Romances as data. I compiled a list of small bits of stories that really grounded me into the moment, in other words, pieces of fucking fantastic fiction.
I stuck to sex scenes for the sake of the argument, and I tried to keep them spoiler free, so if it doesn’t make sense because you haven’t read the story, don’t worry. I’ll have links at the bottom of this blog post so that you can read my full reviews, and then hopefully read the books.
Book and Author Scene
Dark Space by Lisa Henry “Just give it a minute, Brady.”
Meatworks by Jordan Castillo Price Robohand.
Scorpion by Aleksandr Voinov Kendras spread his legs.
Hot Head by Damon Suede Masturbation!
Training Season by Leta Blake Rob’s face going slack.
Sarge by Bey Deckard Filling his hand.
These were all pieces of scenes that threw me – BAM – into the moment. I was that person. I was Brady, I was Desmond, I was Kendras, I was Griff, I was Rob, I was Sarge.
I felt what they felt, tasted what they tasted, heard what they heard, and smelled what they smelled.
Their thoughts were my thoughts.
I was lost. I was found.
I was someone else.
That’s what I look for when I read.
I think we can agree that these stories and the authors who wrote them are very different from each other. I didn’t cherry pick them to make a point. You can see their work already on my website.
It doesn’t matter who writes MM.
We’re all just people.
Here is an addition to my data from above, but it deserved its own spot. We’ll call it an outlier.
This morning I was reading Anne Tenino’s Too Stupid To Live, and I came across this juicy morsel:
“[…] Ian took advantage of the offer, fighting Sam’s muscles to slide in farther, until he hit that magical point where they [the muscles] stopped trying to force his dick out and sucked him in instead.”
Warning: WE ARE ENTERING THE T.M.I. ZONE!
(Mom and Dad, please never find my blog or read it. Ever.)
I’ve read a lot of MM Romance, but y’know, I’ve never read anything quite like that quote from above. It certainly struck a chord in me, and it also sent me down memory lane…
I remembered that I was going very very slow (now I would say I was going too slow, but whatever, it was my first day). And then I hit that spot Tenino was talking about, and I totally got sucked in.
My hips hit the guy’s ass, and I held my breath, afraid to move. I remembered thinking, “This is awesome!” But I pulled myself together and said to the guy, “Are you okay?”
The guy made unintelligible noises (it was his first day too).
I leaned over. “What?”
“Fine! Go.” *more unintelligible noises*
Folks, Tenino isn’t a gay man (I hope that she doesn’t mind me saying that, lol), and she wrote something that was…pretty graphically accurate. Just saying.
WE HAVE EXITED THE T.M.I. ZONE!
Thus far I have made these points: It shouldn’t be hard for people to understand why anyone would want to read and/or write MM. I’ve also said that gay men don’t necessarily write better MM than women.
Some of you may still be saying, “But guys’ bodies are different, and unless you have a penis, how could you write about having one?”
Dudes, I hate to break it to you, but there ain’t no magic to your junk.
The tissues in the genitalia of both men and women are mostly the same. Excitement is the same. Orgasms are the same. Resolution is the same.
Here, in case you don’t believe me: “The neurological and vascular controls of the female response are essentially the same as the male [pp. 1055-1058] and need not be repeated here (Saladin 1085).”
“But what about ejaculation?” you may be saying. “Surely that’s special?”
Ejaculation is different, I’ll admit, but it’s not that special. For one, it usually happens during orgasm, and orgasm is very similar in women as in men. Also, women can piss during orgasm and can ejaculate fluid out of their paraurethral glands, which are similar to the prostate.
So…it probably doesn’t even have to take that much imagination to figure out how all of that works.
And everyone is different. I asked 20 men in one day what an erection felt like, and they all gave me different answers…except for those smart asses who said, “Good.”
According to some texts, men aren’t supposed to be able to ejaculate more than once without losing an erection, or even have multiple orgasms. I’ve also read that men shouldn’t be able to take a piss with a hard on.
Well guess what? I know at least one instance where all of those “rules” have been broken.
We aren’t magic and we aren’t an equation. We’re all just people.
Unique, unpredictable, imaginative, and beautiful people.
Saladin, Kenneth. Anatomy and Physiology: The Unity of Form and Function. Sixth ed. McGraw-Hill Companies, 2012.