Small Cocks

 

Grif's ToyDisclaimer: This blog post isn’t intended to speak poorly of any one person or work, rather it’s merely a reflection of society, one that was brought on by a book I read. Honestly, it’s high praise to admit that a book made me think so much.

Last year I read a book about small penis humiliation. The protagonist was a man with a smaller than average dick, who enjoyed being humiliated—to tears—by his partners. When I finished the novel, I felt disturbed, enough so that I didn’t even rate the book, because as a general rule I try not to rate books if my own personal hang-ups get in the way of a fair rating.

When I sat down to consider it, I realized that it wasn’t the humiliation that got to me. The very first kink I developed at the tender age of twelve, and my most desperate to this day, is deeply rooted in humiliation. I also gave some thought to the fact that, being a trans man, I could have some bias toward small penis humiliation, as in I could take it personally on some level, but I didn’t think that was it either. I’m married and I don’t really care what anyone but my husband thinks of my cock, and I haven’t met a soul who’s taken umbrage with my dick. Maybe with time, negative experiences will change that opinion, but it hasn’t happened yet. So I rolled this around some more, and naturally I turned to gay porn, where I found the answer to what had been bothering me.

Porn is all about the big cocks and muscle jocks, and these types of dudes closely resembled Tate, Grif’s first love interest in Grif’s Toy by Joseph Lance Tonlet. Tate is Grif’s college roommate, and the first person that Grif is intimate with. What should have been a beautiful coming out for Grif, ended up being rather pitiful (the circumstances, not the writing). While Grif was definitely gay, Tate was at least bi curious, but instead of easing Grif into the humiliation and negotiating what they wanted out of their sex, from the onset Tate didn’t seem to care about Grif’s needs or reciprocate in any way.

“And tell me, Grif, why do I get enjoyment, and you don’t, huh?”

“Because you’ve got a big cock that deserves feeling good, and I have a junior dick that deserves abuse. And because you enjoy hurting me—it makes your cock hard, and it’s always about your cock, not my toy.”

“Right you are, fag. So let’s make my dick feel good, and yours hurt, shall me?”

If this had been a lesson on how straight dudes could be jerks, I’d totally get that. But it wasn’t. Grif ends up falling in love with Tate, thus cementing this rather messed up bond, and he goes through life, hookup after hookup, until he finds someone else that can humiliate his cock, make him cry, and fall in love with, so he can live happily ever after.

I’m not saying that all small penis humiliation is rooted into some sort of psychological trauma. That’s just insulting. Being adults, we can choose our partners, but we can’t always choose what gets us off. And that’s my problem with Grif’s Toy. Not the humiliation, or the fact that Grif makes this a part of his lifestyle, but the fact that Tate and all those jocks Grif grew up with were assholes, and I wanted to gun down each and every one of them for making Grif feel inferior.

I adore small dicks.

When I say “small dicks”, I don’t mean five-inch ones, as porn would have you believe the size of a small dick is. Five inches is average. No, when I say I love small dicks, I mean I love the four-inch ones, and I especially love micro penises, ones three inches or less.

When I see a small cock, I want to pop it in my mouth, and suck for it all I’m worth. I want to kiss those perfect balls, lick that tummy, and love, cherish, and worship it.

And that’s what I had wished someone had done for Grif. Instead of meeting Tate, I wish Grif had met me (in some other incarnation, of course). I wish I could have shown Grif how beautiful his cock was, and how desperately I wanted it. Without the tears.

I’m glad it worked out for Grif in the end, I really am. But maybe boys like him wouldn’t be fetishizing and objectifying their bodies for pleasure, if they’d been more supported in our society. Again, I’m not saying that the only reason why people practice humiliation is because they have psychological issues. I’m saying that glorifying large penises and degrading smaller ones, as I’ve see in porn and gay culture, inevitably hurts boys and men.

I’d love it if porn was more sex positive, and people were valued for their strengths, and I think that’s ultimately what I was missing from this novel. It didn’t give me that feeling of it being sex positive, and before I came to this conclusion, I also spoke with the author. It was my last attempt to see something empowering about Grif’s feelings of sex and intimacy. Unfortunately, there weren’t many answers there either. The general gist seemed to be, you either, “Got it, or you didn’t.” Which is fair.

Hey, live and let live. If you like this kind of thing, go for it. My qualms aside, the lines I quoted above give you a pretty good idea of what kind of dirty story this is. Have fun. It’s fantasy. And hey, wouldn’t it be great if this was the book that everyone had an opinion about, thus making Tonlet wildly famous?

 

Picture Credit: wee-ooak-miniatures.deviantart.com

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Terrific post! Wonderful point you make here. I’ll admit I did not finish Grif’s Toy, I couldn’t do it. Like you say, it may be someone’s thing and that it’s just fantasy. But I also feel that there’s a thin line between fantasy and reality and someone could absolutely interpret it the wrong way. We need to love ourselves and find others who loves us regardless of what society says are flaws.

    Reply
    1. B. A. Brock

      I totally agree. Sometimes the line between fantasy and unhealthy reality can be hard to distinguish. With this work I simply wasn’t convinced that Grif was having men humiliate him because he wanted to be humiliated. It seemed more to me like he asked for it because he couldn’t have it any other way. Because the men in his life didn’t respect him.

      Reply

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